Stop Sabotaging Yourself: The Letting Go Technique

Sometimes we sabotage ourselves and our best efforts. Often the source of this sabotage is our unconscious set of limiting beliefs. So the obvious question is: How do we get rid of limiting beliefs? The first step is just becoming aware of these unconscious saboteurs. By becoming aware, we have taken the first step towards release. For instance, you may have a hidden belief that you don’t measure up or are not worthy of success. That kind of hidden landmine will trip you up at the most inopportune moments. If you can quickly release that feeling of unworthiness, you are good to go. If not, however, there is another strong technique, called “Letting Go,” which I will describe in this post.

We all tend to either repress, express or project our feelings. When we repress a feeling, we, in essence, deny it and stuff it back down. Over the long term, this protects us from conflict but is not a healthy option as the repressed feelings accumulate. Expressing our feelings is an option, but sometimes it is inappropriate or harmful to do so. Projecting means attributing our feelings to a person or situation outside of ourselves. The “Letting Go” technique, as described below, is a tool to release unprocessed feelings. Without this mass of unprocessed feelings, your limiting beliefs will have no support and will crumble away.

The “Letting Go” technique, in a nutshell, is becoming aware of a feeling, letting it rise within you, staying present with it, then letting it run its course without wanting to change it. It sounds simple and it is, but you become better with practice. You just let the feeling be present and focus on releasing the energy behind it. The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling. Don’t resist it, vent it, fear it, condemn it, or moralize about it. Drop your judgment and observe that it is only a feeling. The technique is to be present with the feeling and release all efforts to change it in any way. Let go of the desire to resist the feeling. It is the resistance that makes the feeling keep going. When you give up resisting or trying to change the feeling, you will feel lighter, and you will move on to the next feeling. Eventually, the feeling will disappear if you don’t resist it. The energy behind the feeling will dissipate.

You can expand the technique by conducting an inner dialogue with yourself. Here is a sample progression:

  1. You’re not feeling so good emotionally. Maybe you are angry, sad, or have some other negative feeling.
  2. Ask yourself to fully experience the feeling and to be present with it. It is not necessary to name or analyze how you are feeling. Just be with the feeling entirely. Stay with it for a while or until it runs out. Ignore any thoughts that come up. Concentrate on the feelings only.
  3. Optionally, you can ask yourself “am I ready to release this feeling?” after a while. You should get an answer from within yourself. Yes and no are both fine. You can then ask yourself “when will I release this feeling?” Any answer is fine.

Once you release the feeling, there may be more to release later, or it may have entirely run out. It may be replaced by different emotions that you can also release. The important thing is to remember to be persistent and keep going. You are making progress even when it seems like you are not.

How will you know when you are fully surrendered on a particular topic? You will see when you can say “I am okay if it happens and okay if it doesn’t.” Don’t mistake that state for ambivalence or passivity. The surrendered state is potent for being in the world and manifesting your desires.

The letting go technique should be used daily to release negative feelings. But don’t stop there! Once you become practiced with it, you will be able to release instantaneously as the negative feelings come up.

What I’ve noticed after using this technique, is that the feelings that come up for release may or may not be directly related to the situation you are currently experiencing. Your current state may be a trigger for bringing up repressed material to be let go. Also, you will get better at identifying where in your body the feelings register.

You can use this technique to release cravings, strong desires, and other obsessive tendencies. One mistaken idea that people often have is that you need a strong desire to get what you want. The truth is that strong desire or cravingness can often block the receiving of what you are looking for. This technique will allow you to “drain off” excess desire so that you will feel better and also be able to manifest what you want.

If you want more information on this beautiful technique and variations of it, I have listed two references below:

Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by Dr. David Hawkins

The Sedona Method

Cutting Expenses and Reducing Attachments

Cutting expenses is one way to meet your monthly budget. Cutting down on expenditures by itself can seem like a difficult thing to do. The secret is to cut your outflow while not feeling deprived or impoverished. How in the world can that be done? We will explore some observations and techniques that will lighten your load and lift your spirit.

Before you begin to reduce your monetary outgo, you need to get your mind into the right place. The following techniques are just some of the methods that may help you. Use your imagination to come up with your own routines.

Construct a daily gratitude practice. I can tell you from personal experience that gratitude is a ticket to freedom from craving things in this world. See all that you have in the present moment, and give gratitude for it all. If it helps you, keep a gratitude journal that you write in daily. You can have gratitude for any number of material or non-material things, such as a job, health, sunsets, meals, people, and so on. Once you get good at gratitude, you will find ways to give gratitude for challenging people and situations. Sometimes these difficulties are just gateways to the next adventure. Other times, they are the key to our personal and spiritual growth.

Release the clutter in your life. Clutter represents chaos, and chaos can take over your finances and your sense of peace. If you have old items that you are not currently using, donate them, sell them or throw them away. Keep your living and working spaces as clean and neat as possible, not in an obsessive manner, but as a means of caring for yourself. Throw away old papers. Realistically look at family heirlooms. Do you want to keep Grandma’s sterling silver collection? Consider what your kids will do when you are gone. They will probably sell or donate all of that stuff in an instant.

Be open and honest with others to the extent possible. Keeping secrets, gossiping and playing other mind games is an energy drain. Sometimes it seems as if others are not ready to handle the harsh truth, so choose your words with kindness in mind. Being both honest and kind can appear to be difficult; you must set an intention to be both before an awkward conversation.

Let go of attachments to material and non-material things. You don’t need the latest and greatest of everything to make your life complete. You must realize that you are already complete without adding a new car, phone or relationship. This step is probably the most difficult of the steps for some people. It requires acceptance of, forgiveness of, and compassion for one’s self. Say to yourself: “I will be alright whether or not I have a new _.” If you want to make a practice out of letting go, I highly recommend the book “Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender” by Dr. David Hawkins.

When you feel you are in an excellent place to start cutting expenses, compare your budget to your monthly outgo. Look at your most substantial expenditures first and make decisions on how to reduce or eliminate them. Below are some ideas.

Vehicle Expenses

Properly maintain your vehicle. Do the manufacturer’s recommended maintenance as shown in the manual. While this may seem to increase your vehicle expenses in the short term, in the long run, it means significant savings on breakdowns. The key is to maintain your vehicle in the most economical way possible. Make sure your tires are always properly inflated, for fuel economy as well as safety.

Find mechanics and service shops that are reliable and honest. Nothing is more aggravating than wasting money on unnecessary repairs and services. Consider online ratings and word-of-mouth referrals. Dealership service departments are usually reliable but can be very expensive.

Look for coupons and advertised specials. Always comparison shop.

Don’t be afraid to get a second opinion on repairs.

Buy recent model used cars instead of new cars. A vehicle less than two years old with less than 40,000 miles is ideal from a cost standpoint. The reason for this is because the initial depreciation has been taken already. Comparison shop for prices and get an online car history as well to make sure you are getting a car with a clean record.

Consider public transportation if it is feasible.

Carpool when possible.

Shop around for car insurance, but be aware of the various companies’ reputation for paying claims and dealing with customers. Set your deductibles as high as you feel comfortable. It is better to have higher coverage limits than lower deductibles. If you have an older car of relatively small value, you might consider skipping collision coverage.

Financial Expenses

Refinance high-interest debt at lower interest rates. Look for better credit offers online.

Check your credit score. Make sure your credit is maintained or improved. Watch for fraud or mistakes.

Home Expenses

Reduce energy expenses. Set your heating and air conditioning to a slightly less comfortable setting, and adjust your clothing instead. Programmable thermostats are helpful by changing the temperature based on the time of day. Use LED or CFL light bulbs for lights that are regularly used. Make sure your home is properly insulated and sealed.

Perform regular maintenance. Like your car, your home requires routine maintenance. In particular, heating and air condition systems must be serviced regularly to keep in top operating condition. If you use a service, check online ratings and comparison shop. If you have a yard, it is essential to keep it minimally maintened to keep your home’s value or maintain required standards.

High-speed internet is a required service. Shop your local providers based on reliability and speed availability.

Make sure you have adequate homeowner’s coverage. If you haven’t changed your limits in a long time, take a look at your coverage limits to make sure they still are enough based on the current value of your house and belongings. Choose a higher deductible.

Entertainment

TV subscriptions vary in price and content. Cable and satellite TV can end up being quite expensive. While the providers advertise low rates, they quickly muddle up the picture with equipment charges, optional channels, contracts, and regular price increases. They make comparison shopping difficult by “bundling” services. The newer online TV services offer better prices and more fine-tuned options. The requirements for these services are fast internet and a smart TV or TV box (like Roku or Apple TV). To get local channels for free, you can buy and install an HDTV antenna. Do you want to record local TV? Some devices will do that as well. The bottom line is that many “cable-cutters” have dropped their cable or satellite service and replaced it with online services plus an antenna for free local channels.

Life and Health Insurance

If you have dependents, life insurance is essential to protect them. Shop around. If you are in good health, an individual policy is often a better deal than group life insurance through an employer. Term insurance is sufficient for most people and is the lowest cost option.

With the high cost of healthcare, health insurance is critical, even if you are in good health. You can’t predict the future. Generally, the higher the deductible and the more skimpy the provider options, the lower the cost. Hospital insurance, critical illness insurance, and accident insurance are lower in price but are not a good substitute for actual health insurance.

Charitable Giving

One of the first items that get cut is often charitable giving. Think twice before slashing your giving. Not only does your gift it make a better world for humanity, it provides you with a sense of well being. It can also be a tax deduction. Offering a donation to an organization that spiritually nourishes you is giving back and helping others get the same nourishment.

Food

Let’s face it, eating out is fun and a nice break as well as a reason to get out of the house. That being said, we need to manage the number of times that we eat out per month. Yes, there are cheap fast food deals and buffets, but you need to provide your body with the quality and quantity of food that it deserves. Processed food is often loaded with sugars, starches, and unhealthy fats. When you do the shopping, you have control of what goes into your body. Organic foods are often more expensive than conventional foods, but you will have reduced exposure to pesticides and chemicals. The choice is yours.

Summary

In summary, get your mind into the right place first, then take action to reduce expenses. We have discussed numerous practical ways to approach this, but your situation is unique, and you will have to come up with your solution. I put forth good thoughts and affirmative prayers for those reading this. Go forth and prosper!

Peaceful Assertiveness

Assertiveness is defined as is “the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive” by Wikipedia. Some people seem to be naturally assertive; others require more effort to find their assertive behavior. Where do you fit on this spectrum? When dealing with financial matters, assertiveness is sometimes necessary to make things right.

Whether dealing with a merchant or a boss, sometimes we need to assert our right to be adequately treated. The key is to be assertive while keeping calm and focused. Losing your cool and letting anger dictate your words and actions is a sure way to sabotage a potential solution. Following are some ideas on how to be more effectively assertive:

Treat the person in front of you with the ultimate respect. Respect them even if they seem to be unreasonable or unresponsive. You don’t know the whole situation. You may not see the pressure they are under or the constraints they have. Never berate or minimize them. They will help you as much as they are able.

Realistically evaluate whether the person you are dealing with has the ability and authority to solve the problem. If they do have the ability to help, continue to work with them. Otherwise, gently but firmly escalate the issue to management. You must be patient in this process. Sometimes escalation through multiple levels of management is necessary to solve a particularly tricky problem. When you talk with people, ask and write down their names. Take notes on the discussions; they could be helpful later. Be open to alternative solutions that present themselves.

Start your discussion from a peaceful place. When you think about an upcoming talk or confrontation, and it makes you uneasy, you need to take steps to bring peace into your experience. Meditation or deep-breathing exercises can be helpful. Actively imagine your discussion going well. Expect a positive outcome.

Dealing with large organizations and government bureaucracies can be especially trying. You may get shuffled from one department to another. Sometimes phone calls are dropped. Patience and persistence are required. I remember, when I was much younger, I made a call to the local cable company. The representative insisted that I had unreturned equipment. Until I paid for the devices or returned them, I could not get internet service. I futilely argued that I did not have any devices in my possession. I spoke to a manager, who did not help at all. I was angrier than I could remember ever being. My spouse then called the cable company and got someone else who solved the problem immediately. Sometimes resolution comes in unexpected ways once you are open to alternate solutions.

It is important to our self respect that we do not allow ourselves to be mistreated. Assertive behavior is part of our personal skills tool-kit that we must use from time to time.

The Decision to Buy or Rent a Home

A very neat American house with gorgeous outdoor landscape. Northwest, USA.

Buying a home has long been considered part of the American Dream. There is emotional significance to being able to say “my home belongs to me.” Also, the United States tax laws have historically been skewed to encourage home ownership. However, the decision whether to buy or rent a home is complicated and depends on several factors. First of all, consider the length of time that you will spend in your home. In general, the longer you plan to live in your home, the more sense it usually makes to buy instead of renting. Those in the military or in job situations that may be in flux might be more inclined to rent for apparent reasons. The reason for this is because of the high cost of buying and selling homes. There are many components to these costs such as commissions, title insurance, escrow fees and so on. If you move often and have to sell your house each time, these costs will drain a lot of value from your resources. Another option is to keep your home when you move but to turn around and rent it to someone else. If you take this route, however, there are additional complications that you must deal with. Property management is not for the faint of heart. In summary, a good rule of thumb is to consider buying if you plan to keep the house for at least five years.

Secondly, you must factor in the mortgage interest rate that you can get on your home loan. A lower interest rate makes buying relatively more attractive. Your mortgage interest rate depends on prevailing rates at the time of purchase, as well as your credit rating. There are choices, such as 15-year or 30-year mortgages, fixed or adjustable rates, and different amounts of down payments. You can compare mortgage rates online relatively quickly.

Next, look at your income tax situation. Because of the potential deductibility of mortgage interest and property tax, your marginal tax rate may affect the attractiveness of buying. Also, there is a tax break on the proceeds from the sale of your home in certain circumstances. Inevitably, the future income tax situation is subject to change as the political winds shift. Before the writing of this post, US income tax law was changed to limit the dollar amount of deductions that can be taken for certain property items. Check with a tax professional if you are uncertain about your situation.

The prevailing rental rates in your area can be an essential factor. If rentals are in relatively short supply, rental prices can be higher than usual. This discrepancy makes buying more attractive.

Potential future growth in home prices in your area is a significant factor in the attractiveness of owning versus renting. However, since future growth is unknown, it does add some risk to home ownership. For instance, in some areas of the country real estate values are very volatile and can drop or rise drastically over a short period. Homeownership expenses must be considered. Homeowners incur many expenses that renters do not. Some of these are property taxes, maintenance, insurance, closing costs, and improvements. If you enjoy yard work and are relatively handy, you can save money on home maintenance and improvements. You must really be sure that you enjoy this type of work as there will be plenty of it to do. The bottom line is that buying a home is a complicated decision requiring the consideration of many factors.

If you want to use a calculator to illustrate the value of home ownership versus renting, please visit www.lifeanalytics.com/buy-or-rent-a-home.html

Four Ways to Find Peace With Your Job

The concept of having a steady job with a regular paycheck is something that many of us learned at an early age. The idea of nurturing your soul often got left far behind. As a result, later in life, we may feel that we missed out on something.

So now you’ve got a steady job, but you want something more. Maybe you want to start your own business or go into a different career. In any case, the first thing you must do is to make peace with your current job situation.

Finding fault with your current employment situation is easy. But to move forward, you need to shift to and maintain an attitude of appreciation for where you are. Here are four key things to appreciate:

  • Appreciate the fact that you do have a job.

Having a job is better than not having one. Appreciate the opportunity you have to be productive and participate in gainful activity. Your journey needs a starting point, and that is where you are.

  • Appreciate the income provided through your job.

Whether or not your income is where you ultimately where you want it to be, consider it to be a blessing. Your current income provides you with those things that allow you to move forward in life.

  • Appreciate the personal growth obtained through on-the-job relationships.

Your customers, boss, and co-workers may not always provide you with the kind of interaction that is pleasing to you at first. However, this is where you learn to transcend being caught up in their problems. You must learn to appreciate the positive aspects of these people, whatever they may be. If you can’t find any, make some up. You may begin to see these relationships transform themselves.

  • Let your work become a prayer.

Whatever your task may be, perform it as if it was sacred. Do it with care and realize that you are delivering a valuable service for the universe.

If you follow these four guidelines, you will be lifted above and beyond where you currently are.

About Your Abundance

What This Blog Has to Offer

If you are looking for personal finance advice on the internet, many time-tested blogs and websites give quality advice. So why another blog? The difference you will find here is that we offer a balanced perspective; balanced between the concrete facts of money management and the inner game of living a fulfilling and abundant life. A holistic approach towards abundance makes for a well-rounded experience.

What we are NOT about is fanciful, wishful thinking that is out of line with sound money management principles. We ARE about optimism, pragmatism and making decisions that are aligned with meaning and joy. The differences are subtle but critical. If your thoughts about money disturb you or cause you to be stressed, you have some work to do on your thinking before you can get on the path to true financial freedom. Even if you have all the money you might ever need, if you are always concerned about it, you are not yet truly free.

Thinking and Beliefs Do Matter

Many individuals believe they must sacrifice happiness and meaning to achieve financial goals. This belief is based on many flawed premises. Part of our mission here is to help you identify the elements of your belief system that are holding you back. Often, these beliefs are hidden at a deeper level of your mind. Once identified, these limiting beliefs can be released, allowing you to move past what have seemed to be stubborn obstacles.

Yes, it is essential to know where you are financially, but it is even more important to not be stuck there. Many would find it difficult to comprehend this simple truth: Your current financial situation is your responsibility and no one else’s. Taking responsibility means changing your thinking as well as changing the way you live. If you think like a victim, you will live like a victim. If you feel like a prosperous and happy individual, your life will follow suit. The good news is that thinking and beliefs can be changed. There are several true stories of those that have lifted themselves from homelessness to the ranks of self-made multi-millionaires. The one thing they all have in common is a dramatic change in their beliefs and thought patterns.

The chart below illustrates some of the differences between victim thinking and prosperity thinking:

Victim ThinkingProsperity Thinking
My finances are limited because of my job. I receive my income from my job.My finances are unlimited. I currently receive income through my job rather than from it.
My finances are limited because of the economy.My finances are unlimited. Many made millions during depressions and recessions.
My finances are limited because I lack the proper training or education.My finances are unlimited. Some of the richest men in the world are drop-outs (e.g., Bill Gates). I can get the knowledge I need.
My finances are limited because it takes money to make money.My finances are unlimited. Going from homeless to rich has been done successfully one step at a time (e.g., Joe Vitale).
My finances are limited because my boss, family, friends or spouse are holding me down.My finances are unlimited. There is no one to blame, but I take personal responsibility for my results.
My finances are limited because rich people are greedy.My finances are unlimited. Some rich people are greedy, and some poor people are greedy. That doesn't define who I am or who I will become.
My finances are limited because I am too old or too young.My finances are unlimited. Fortunes can be made at almost any age (e.g., Col. Sanders)

There are many more examples of how we can look at things differently. You get the idea, so learn to be vigilant against “victim thinking.” It takes practice, but it absolutely sets the stage for major positive changes in your finances. You still need to take decisive action, changing your thinking won’t do it all. However, the effort you do make will come from a stronger base.

Tools for Changing Thoughts and Beliefs

Making changes in thoughts and beliefs is not a trivial process. We have to be patient, loving and persistent with ourselves. We will find inner resistance to change in the form of excuses, forgetfulness and blaming others. Below are listed some tools to help you on your journey:

  • Meditation – Any type of meditation practice that enables you to identify and slow down the chatter we all have going on in our minds.
  • Letting Go – A practice promoted by Dr. David Hawkins and also developed by a different organization as the Sedona Method. This allows you to own and then let go of negative emotions.
  • Ho’oponopono – A simple, repetitive practice refined by Dr. Hew Len and promoted by Dr. Joe Vitale. You merely repeat: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”
  • Tapping – A practice of tapping on acupuncture points while repeating a phrase. Also known as EFT.

Earnings

You have choices on how to improve your financial situation. Your first option is to earn more money. This can be done by getting a different job or starting a business. However, it is essential to consider factors other than income when doing this to avoid sabotaging yourself in the long term. The following is a list of points to consider when looking at jobs or businesses:

  • Will I be able to learn to love doing this work with passion and flair? Doing what you love and loving what you do is a sure-fire path to better income. Look at those who excel in any field, and you will find passion.
  • Will I have the flexibility to do this work and live the other part of my life? Work-life balance may be an essential component for you. Consider how this work will impact the other part of your life.
  • If it is a job, what sort of benefits are offered? Remote working arrangements? Health care plan? Retirement savings?
  • For a job, what are the company’s reputation and culture? Do some research online.
  • If you are looking to start a business, is it a business that will continuously require a lot of my time? You may want to consider the relationship between time invested and financial return. Otherwise, you could be building yourself a low-paying job disguised as a business.

Expenditures and Savings

These two topics, expenses and savings, are directly related. Every dollar of spending is a dollar that won’t go into savings (ignoring tax deductions and other complications). However, a dollar of savings is more valuable than a dollar of income, because income is reduced by taxation. A lot of wealthy people know this and live frugal lives. The celebrities with yachts, jets, and mansions are the ones you see in the news, but many wealthy people are living less ostentatious lives below the radar. So how do you reduce expenditures and boost savings? Below are some ideas to help you:

  • Make a regular practice of giving gratitude for things you currently have. The value of doing this cannot be overstated. It creates a positive mindset. Perhaps even join a gratitude group online, where you are accountable for giving a list of things that you are grateful for every day.
  • Look at the reasons why you buy new things. Is the old item really broken? Will you use the new item frequently? Can it wait a little longer?
  • Consider used or refurbished items.
  • Continue or increase your charitable giving. First of all, charitable giving is often tax deductible. Also giving to worthwhile charities or religious organizations boosts your well-being and makes the world a better place. Do your research to make sure the charities you give to make good use of their money (the vast majority of the funds should directly benefit those in need).
  • Don’t give money to strangers or family members who make poor choices. Enabling someone’s addictions or poor decisions is not a good use of your money. Panhandlers on the street usually use their money to fund their habits, despite their claims otherwise. If you feel for the homeless, give to a homeless shelter.

Investments – Making the Most of Your Savings

If you have a significant amount of savings, you will want to invest it somewhere other than a bank account with little or no interest. There are many, many investment options available, so choose carefully. The keys to successful investing are diversity and patience. Diversity means not to put all of your eggs in one basket. Most investments, especially the most profitable ones, have some risk of decline associated with them. By diversifying your investments, you will protect yourself to some degree from declines in value. Patience is a virtue when it comes to investments. Investors such as Warren Buffet made fortunes from buying quality stocks and being patient over decades. If you give in to fear and pull your money out of your investments every time there is a noticeable decline, you are setting yourself up for failure.

When you invest, it is also important to consider at what point you will start to draw down the funds. If you are young and your money can sit untouched for decades, you can afford to take a little more risk with your investments. On the other hand, if you will need access to your funds relatively soon, you will want to stay with a conservative mix of investments to minimize the risk of decline.

Summary

We hope this information was useful for you and that you continue to visit us here at yourabundance.blog.